Written by Lynn Saxberg. Full article published in Ottawa Citizen.
Jessica Ruano intends to introduce her adopted daughter, Joy, to all of the friends, family members and activities that make up a rewarding life, and make sure she stays connected to her Inuit roots.
They’ve had a good start. In the first few months of the year, the baby girl accompanied her outgoing mom to a theatre performance, concert, board meeting and fundraiser, to name a few of their outings, as well as regular visits to an Inuktitut-language playgroup.
“I want her to have that pluralistic experience of meeting different people and seeing different things,” said Ruano over the phone, Joy cooing and gurgling in the background. “The first two months we were going out every day. I’m just one person, but my philosophy towards parenting is I want her to be influenced by lots of people, like a real community feel.”
With Mother’s Day coming up on Sunday, Ruano is one of three Ottawa moms this newspaper interviewed to find out what it’s like to care for an infant during a global health crisis. On top of the usual challenges of feeding, diaper changes and sleeplessness, mothers are facing a raft of other stressors, including financial uncertainty, daycare anxiety, work pressure and the ongoing grind of isolation.
For Ruano, the pandemic has put a stop to almost all of their excursions, and she’s adjusted her routine to include plenty of long walks around the neighbourhood and online visits with friends and family.
Still, as she prepares for her first Mother’s Day as a mother, the 33 year old couldn’t be happier.
“I feel that she brought me so much joy even before she was born,” says the Ottawa playwright, director and producer. “She’s incredibly motivating. She gets me up in the morning and is full of smiles. She makes me see the world in different ways.
“In addition to the gift of being able to be a parent, I think she’s actually motivating me to do creative and beautiful things for myself as well.”
Among the projects in the works is a memoir that tells the story of Ruano’s life before the adoption. She’d had a couple of relationships with partners who had children, and realized she wanted a child in her life that wouldn’t go away with a breakup. She initially approached the Children’s Aid Society, completing their training and had a report prepared on her suitability as a solo parent.
Then friends of friends who were adoptive parents heard that a baby in Nunavut might be up for adoption in January. Ruano got in touch, and became acquainted with the expectant parents by messaging online. The parents and their two-year-old daughter decided to travel to Ottawa for the birth and to meet Ruano in person.
All went well, and the baby, born Jan. 16, went home with Ruano, who named her to reflect the joy she brings — and to maintain the family tradition of names that start with J.
It’s an open adoption in that Ruano sends photos and updates to the birth parents, and refers to them as anaana and ataata — mom and dad in Inuktitut. She’s learning the language, too, and will raise Joy to have strong ties with her culture.
“Ottawa is actually a great place to raise an Inuk child because there are a lot of resources here, like community centres and the playgroup,” she says. “It’s a shame we’ve had to stop going. It was really nice to be in an environment where people were speaking Inuktitut around her.”
Their first Mother’s Day together will be a celebratory occasion. Joy is a happy baby who delighted her mom with her first laughter this week. “Her laugh is so funny,” says Ruano. “It sounds like a chortle. I can’t even imitate it. She makes me laugh a lot.”
Jessica Ruano 